One day, a young teenager named John, who has just met with an unfortunate accident recently, was sitting by the balcony of his house. He has suffered from a bone fracture in his right leg and needs to walk for a few months using crutches. Looking down the street, he saw another young teenager walking by the sidewalk. John, with his broken leg, felt depressed by the fact that he is less mobile at the moment, and can’t wait to recover and move freely again.
The teenager who is walking on the sidewalk, however, was minding his own business. The only thing on his mind was the dreadful feeling of walking up the hill. A sudden gust of wind went by him, and he saw a guy in his mid-twenties overtake him on a scooter. The teenager then thought to himself: “Wow, can’t wait to get one of those someday, so I don’t have to walk and take the public transport to wherever I wanna go.”
The person in his mid-twenties was riding towards a local store nearby to get some groceries. While he was riding, he rode past a middle-aged guy driving his brand new BMW 5 Series on the opposite side of the road. With awe, he thought to himself: “Such a nice car. With that, I can leave the groceries in the back boot, and also not worry about riding under the hot sun or rain. Someday, I’ll sell my bike and purchase one of those beauties.”
The middle-aged guy reached his home, parked his car, and got down. Entering his home, he went upstairs and saw his son sitting by the balcony. Turns out, this middle-aged guy was John’s father. He was just laid off that day from his managerial position, from a company that he has dedicated almost 20 years of his career. With all the anxiety of the recent job loss, he thought to himself: “How nice if I could be like John, not having to worry about how to put food on the table for the family.”
The Grass Is Always Greener…
On the other side. We’ve all heard stories like these before, and it makes you wonder – will we ever be satisfied with what we already have?
It is a never-ending cycle. There is always something that someone else has that is better than yours, from the latest shiniest gadgets to the job promotion that your colleague has beaten you to it. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others.
We fall into what is called relative deprivation. When we see our friends have something that we do not, we feel that we are entitled to the same things. We feel that we deserved better, or at minimum, on par with what they have.
“Men do not desire to be rich, but to be richer than other men.”
John Stuart Mill
The Social Media Dilemma
Back when human lives were much simpler, we are mostly shielded within the confines of our community. Say, if you are living in a village with a population of 200 people, then you are basically limited to that 200 people for comparison. To narrow it down even further, it is more common for us to compare ourselves with our peers, therefore the number will be even smaller in actuality.
A lot has changed since back then. With the advancement of print media, and with modern-day social media, comparing is just one click/tap away. Not only are we comparing with our peers, but we are now also comparing against the world. Keeping up with both the Joneses AND the Kardashians is very tiresome, to say the least.
I’m not at all against using social media, but if every time you update your news feed and it makes you feel that your life is sh*tty, then you have a problem.
On Being Grateful
The fact that you are reading this via the internet, shows that you are more privileged than 41% of the global population according to Statista.
Do you have clean and safe drinking water?
If yes, then you are better off than 29% of the world according to WHO.
Is food readily accessible in your area?
There are an estimated 821 million people in the world who suffered from hunger in 2018 according to the United Nations.
It’s easy to forget that we ARE in a position of privileged. We feel that these basics necessities are our entitlement, and forget that there are people out there in the world that still don’t have proper access to them. We have forgotten that we are in fact… blessed.
A while back, I was feeling so stressed out at work, the thought of quitting my job kept appearing in my head. Deadlines are piling up, and every day there are new issues to deal with. From time to time I ponder to myself ” Why am I still doing all this sh*t?”.
I told my girlfriend about quitting and she said: “There are so many people out there who are unemployed due to COVID-19, you should be grateful that you even have one!” She was totally right.
Scrolling through social media, I came across many news reports on how COVID-19 has put many people out of jobs all over the world. It was devastating.
I was taking my life for granted.
Even though the 1st post I’ve written for this blog was about how we should be grateful for the circumstances of our birth, I still fall into this trap of taking what I have currently for granted. This shows that we humans are very forgetful in nature.
I did not appreciate what I have and even thought of letting it (my job) go. After spending some time reflecting on this, I came to realize that I needed to change how I frame the situation and look at it from a different perspective – A perspective of gratitude.
This is post #4.
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